I spent 20 years battling my habits. In 2023, they almost killed me.

If you're reading this, you probably know the exact feeling I'm about to describe: the endless, exhausting cycle of starting over.

For nearly twenty years, my relationship with exercise and health was a frustrating yo-yo. It started when I moved to the UK. I joined a gym with some friends, and the novelty of it—combined with the social accountability—kept me going. But eventually, I moved back to South Africa, and the momentum slowly died.

I started reading about habits. I became absolutely obsessed with how they worked in theory, but in practice? I was still failing. I would drop the gym, pick it up again, make a little progress, and quit.

The "No Pain, No Gain" Trap

Desperate for consistency, I decided to try CrossFit. Unfortunately, the box I joined was incredibly rigid. It was all about brute force. I remember wanting to use a lighter weight one day, and the trainer looked at me and said, "It doesn't work like that here."

Because I was listening to everyone else's "push till you barf" mentality, I ended up injuring myself. I am a determined person, but my body and mind started fighting back. I would get literal butterflies in my stomach before workouts because I was so anxious about going. Eventually, my brain forced me to stop entirely out of fear and exhaustion.

The Wake-Up Call in South Africa

In 2018, still in South Africa, I tried CrossFit again. This time, I found a fantastic, supportive place. I finally became consistent with my workouts for a while! But my diet? That was a completely different story.

When my eating habits were at their worst, I used to tell myself a dark joke: "Honestly, something serious is going to have to happen to me for me to actually fix the way I eat."

In 2023, that cliché became my reality. I had a heart attack.

It is profoundly frustrating that human nature works this way—that we often wait until our backs are completely against the wall, until our very survival is threatened, before we actually force ourselves to change. Lying in that hospital bed, the reality was terrifying. I wasn't just failing to reach my potential anymore. I was actively cutting my life short.

The Illusion of Fear and The Overseas Relapse

When I got out of the hospital, I was a machine. I was super strict with my diet. I exercised exactly how the doctors told me. I thought to myself, "This is it. I am finally cured of my bad habits because I literally have to be."

But here is the dark truth about fear: it fades.

Shortly after my recovery, I moved overseas. The everyday stress of a massive life change took over. Without the external support of my old community, and as the immediate terror of the hospital room grew distant, the old comforts called out to me. My willpower vanished. The bad eating habits slowly, insidiously, crept right back in, and my fitness disappeared. I was relapsing, and I felt completely powerless to stop it.

The Toxic Cycle of Extremes

For years, my entire life had operated on a toxic cycle of extremes. I would lay idle, doing absolutely nothing for months, and then I would aggressively harass myself into doing something extreme to make up for it. I would always tell myself, "This time I'm going to DO IT!"

I never trusted that small efforts actually mattered. I thought if I didn't have 45 minutes to sweat, doing a 5-minute stretch was a complete waste of time. I thought if I didn't eat perfectly all day, I might as well ruin my whole diet.

The Breakthrough: The Relief of the "Mini"

I realized that motivation based on sheer willpower, self-harassment, or pure fear is a losing game. It is completely unsustainable. I needed a system that actually fit my deeply flawed, unpredictable life.

The hardest mental hurdle for me to get over was learning to be okay with doing a "Mini" action. But once I finally accepted it, the relief was unbelievable.

"What I eventually learned changed my life: Motivation comes after the action, not before it. Consistency is everything, and keeping the chain alive—even with the tiniest effort—is infinitely more important than being perfect."

Even if that 5-minute action felt pointless in the moment, it preserved my identity as someone who shows up.

Building Flexi-Habit

I couldn't find a habit tracker that allowed for flexible effort—one that rewarded me for showing up on the bad days instead of aggressively breaking my streak. So, I decided to build it myself.

As I coded the app, I kept tuning the mechanics. I figured out exactly what types of gamification and variable rewards actually triggered my brain to stay on track, even when the fear was gone and motivation was zero.

Today, because of the system I built into this app, I am currently sitting on a 400-day streak. I finally have a firm, sustainable handle on my eating habits. And ironically, because I stopped forcing myself into a toxic cycle of extreme workouts, I actually do way more exercise today than I ever used to.

I built Flexi-Habit to solve my 20-year struggle and, ultimately, to save my own life. If you are tired of losing your streak to a bad day, or relying on willpower that never lasts, I truly hope this app helps you reclaim your health as much as it has helped me.